DA BOMB
PHOTO: JAMES LETTEN
I got a crash course in Ashley Longshore one unforgettable day, sauntering into the usually sedate Bergdorf Goodman’s home floors. Mesmerized by the glitter, the color, the FUN of her mega art show — I recognized my kinda woman — and took a deep Ashley dive: Her book, You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy is a scream and an unapologetic feminist cry for AMBITCHION — her IG page — a consistent delight — her LIFE ... a force of nature. Loved her quote from last year: “I want to create my brand of private Jets” — now that’s an unapologetic bitch! But it ain't just bluster, baby, this is a woman of action who got real, soulful and open in our talk.
With a broad whose infamous for NOT refraining from her glorious opinions — let's get right to it...
GLORIOUS PROFESSION: International Phenomenon, Artist, Collector
GLORIOUS PERSONA: Font of Positivity, Quirky Queen, Love Giver
GLORIOUS QUALITIES: Can you say AMBITCHOUS, Colorful in Every Possible Way, Woman of Action
GLORIOUS PHILOSOPHY:
“If you want something – work for it. If you need to say something – fuckin’ say it.”
GIVE ME YOUR ONE LINE PHILOSOPHY ON THE FOLLOWING:
AGE.
Who gives a fuck?! I cant wait to be “long in the labia”
ART.
Surround yourself with art on every surface. Curate the life you want to live.
FASHION.
Fashion is a mirror to our soul — how we feel on the inside projected on the outside!
SEX.
Get your hair snatched and bent over the kitchen counter at least once a month .... and masturbate a lot .... bump up your numbers.
WELL ALRIGHTY! I FEEL LIKE WE MIGHT BE DONE. (we laugh)
LOVED YOUR POST ABOUT MIDNIGHT SNACKS IN THE BUFF WHILE DANCING IN THE KITCHEN. IT JUST LOOKED SO DELICIOUS. I WAS LIKE: WHERE’S MY CHEESE?
This is why I love my life. Butt ass naked — raiding the frig for the perfect cheese, having a little cookie. Freedom. It’s the little things — right?
BUT THE BIG THINGS YOU’VE GOT DOWN! I FIRST KNEW OF YOU THROUGH YOUR KICKASS BERGDORF’S MOMENT WHEN YOU TOOK OVER — BEFORE THE WORLD CHANGED WITH COVID…
You know — you can work as hard as you want — but everybody needs a certain amount of luck. The more I put myself out there — that’s when the magic happens. It’s all about connectivity and opportunity. That Bergdorf Goodman experience was really something else. And then being in London — I did one of nine big Gucci wall art murals there. And on my way having tea with Diane Von Furstenberg.
WORSHIP!!!
My life’s incredible.
NO APOLOGIES FOR BIG AMBITION. WHERE’S THAT COME FROM?
You know what my dad says? He says “Ashley, you got a bad gene. But you figured out how to make it really marketable. And I am proud of you for that.”
And I’m like: Daddy, I got that from you
YOUR DADDY IS YOUR BRAND MAN.
Yeah. He’s awesome.
YOU ARE A SOUTHERN GIRL, RIGHT? DID YOUR MOTHER ADD TO THOSE GO-GETTER GENES
Hell no — she did not.
“I didn’t want to be a trophy wife. I didn’t want to have to suck dick to buy a hand bag... I had to find my own way.”
YOU’RE A SELF-INVENTED GLORIOUS BROAD THEN …
For sure. I separated from my mother and I think that helped me find out what kind of woman I wanted to be. A trophy wife? Working my ass off? It’s the same way I explore things in America. Consumerism — excess — private jets – it’s a lot to contemplate. But that’s my job.
A CLICHÉ QUESTION – BUT IT IS SO GOOD WITH A BROAD LIKE YOU — WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THE YOUNGER ASHLEY.
Stop worrying!!!
A lot of people wouldn’t know that I'm a worrier and very anxious. But I learned when I was young to take that energy and turn it into work. Even when I had no money — I could go to Home Depot, buy a piece of wood for $3, paint — and this would soothe me. I wanted to create a barrier between me and the world that felt scary.
I was raised to be this sweet southern girl and I never was that. I knew I would never fit in. I didn’t want to be a trophy wife. I didn’t want to go marry some rich man and have to suck dick to buy a hand bag. I knew I didn’t want to be in corporate life — a cubicle — I knew that I had to find my own way.
WHAT AGE DID YOU REALIZE THIS?
Mid twenties? I was fortunate to have a father who gave me a great education but also gave me the gift of having to figure out how to take care of myself.
IS THERE AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING YOU HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY?
Yeah. Instant gratification only gets you drunk — high — or pregnant.
OH DOO EXPLAIN …
There is so much instant gratification in being an artist — I have an idea, I paint it. As I’ve gotten older, this makes me impatient with other things. I want EVERYTHING to be that simple. Having to be patient, waiting for opportunities — understanding that this is my career and not just a moment — those are big lessons to learn.
YES. AND HARD …
Well, yeah. I’ve been doing this for like 25 years. My true success — becoming well-known — was like fuckin’ 4 years ago.
“Instant gratification only gets you drunk, high or pregnant.”
AN OVERNIGHT SUCCESS THAT TOOK 21 YEARS?
Right. 21 years to plant the seeds, and now the fruit is starting to appear. This cycle of success — it is an interesting one.
I WAS MARRIED TO AN ARTIST AND KNOW HOW PRETENTIOUS THAT WORLD CAN BE. YOU ARE SO DIFFERENT — A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!
The artists I love, collect and make — it brings me JOY. Color. Humor. Outrageousness. This is my world.
AS A TEENAGER, DID YOU KNOW YOU'D BECOME THE GLORIOUS BROAD YOU ARE TODAY?
Yes. But I knew it was going to be hard. I dreamed of living my life the way I wanted — and again these things come with opportunity and hustle and the daily conversation of: I CAN do this. Has it been easy? Fuck no. Is it easy now? Shit no. But. Yeah. I knew what I wanted. And I am not there yet. Dammit.
WHAT'S YOUR “NEXT?" THE BIG BRANDED JET DREAM I READ ABOUT?
Well, that was a year ago. And that type of excess feels a little ridiculous now — ya know? Now I want to have a legacy like Peggy Guggenheim. I want to leave a huge public space full of the art I have collected that defines the art that I love.
I want to continue to inspire other artists to be able to say: I’m not just an artist — I am a business person. I can go out there and represent myself. I can do this in my own way…
AND NOT GIVE THAT 50% OVER.
Fuck that. Fuck that.
After a year like this year, you really do rethink all of the crap, jets and all that shit. There is something much more important in human connectivity. And that is what art is all about. Subjectivity, interpretation, seeing that life force and if you don’t relate to it, maybe understanding someone else’s.
I THINK THAT IS WHAT GETS US THROUGH THIS PERIOD THAT WE ARE IN … WE NEED HELP GIRL.
I mean. Look. I like euphoria. I am working on a new collection right now — giant and mod — I am ready for disco balls and the new studio 54 — I'm gonna party my ass off when this thing is over — really celebrate life, feel it on a magnitude where everything feels like a belly laugh. Unfortunately, you can't be there all the time or you’d be dead.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A GLORIOUS TRIBE TO BE ON AN ISLAND WITH — HMMM — WE ARE KIND OF LIVING THAT WAY IN NYC NOW — WHO WOULD BE ON IT? IS DIANE VON FURSTENBERG ONE OF THEM? NOW THERE IS A TIMELESS WOMAN …
Oh yeah. We have an ongoing collaboration of amazing women portraits hanging in her store. There is a whole inspiration room — I just added Kamala Harris and another RBG portrait a few weeks ago.
BEAUTIFUL.
I love Diane. She is such an advocate of other women. What I don’t like is people who think just having money is the goal — that not working is the life. Having a job and having a purpose is very glorious. And when I look at someone like Diane who was married to royalty — the fact that she has continued to have her own — she is 73 now? She is still going — dealing with her company, dealing with the pandemic. Daaaamn — such inspiration.
I have positioned myself to be surrounded by women who are smart, who are teachers, and who love other women.
AND WHAT IS NICE IS — AGE DOESN’T MATTER.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
AND EQUALLY IMPORTANT IS TO LET GO OF THE BITTER ONES. LIFE’S TOO SHORT, BABY.
Anybody not rooting for you — get them out of your life immediately.
I GATHER YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ANY EXPIRATION DATE ON CAREER, LOVE, SEX …
That would be very pessimistic. And I am very much an optimist. So. NO.
MY MOST OUTRAGEOUS OVER THE TOP FASHIONABLE SOUL BUDDY IS 82. WHO’DATHOUGHT?
THE EXPRESSION — “AGING GRACEFULLY” — I HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM WITH IT. I WANT TO ROAR THROUGH LIFE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT TERM? ABOUT AGING?
I love where I am right now more than any other time. I think aging gracefully is about peace — so feels different — how about ageing graciously?
OOOOO THAT’S GOOD.
Yeah. I am grateful for the experiences that I’ve had — these lines on my face are from smiling — fuck all that ageist shit. Am I surrounded by people I love? Do I get to do what I want? Fuck yeah. That is all I give a shit about.
LIVING NOW IS WHAT I WANT TO DWELL ON.
Same.
WHAT DOES THE WORD GLORIOUS MEAN TO YOU? SINCE I DO THINK YOU ARE A GLORIOUS BROAD.
I think that even that word alone — g l o r I o u s — the way it rolls off of your palette — its orgasmic.
The other night I was having dinner at Cipriani downtown — outside — with 2 people I love very much. And. The world felt normal for a minute. We are sitting there — the little lights were twinkling — the temperature was nice — the heater — I felt so happy. That was glorious.
“I’m not just an artist — I am a business person. I can go out there and represent myself. Givin’ away 50%? FUCK THAT!”
GORGEOUS. WHAT GETS YOUR JUICES FLOWING?
There is nothing I love more than traveling, meeting new artists, and collecting. I’m a beast when it comes to this. I just start walking up and down streets, looking in gallery windows — searching, hunting for that life force I’m drawn to.
HAVE YOU ALWAYS COLLECTED — OR SOON AS YOU COULD AFFORD IT?
My first painting cost me 400 dollars. And I have a good dad cause I said – Dad, I want this painting. And he said: Well, you need to figure out how to sell your own art so you can buy it. And I did.
It's now hanging in my bar in New Orleans.
YOU HAVE A BAR IN NEW ORLEANS?
In my living room. NO. I’d be dead if I had a real bar.
SO WHY NEW ORLEANS?
I love the wildness, the architecture, the spirit of the city.
AND WHEN THIS IS OVER?
I really want more — not that New Orleans isn’t enough – but as an artist I need London, Rome ... spending a few months there.
WHEN WE CAN TRAVEL AGAIN, YOU'LL SCRATCH YOUR WANDER LUST ITCH?
Look, I’ve Mardi Gras’ed a lot. Jazz Fest'ed a lot – eaten a fuckin’ ton of jambalaya, partied till 6 o’clock in the morning plenty. But. It’s a big world. I will continue to adore New Orleans but it’s time to continue to grow.
POLITICS COME INTO YOUR WORK — A LOT. BUT I WOULD THINK AS A CONTEMPORARY ARTIST, IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO ENGAGE.
True — but I turned the comments off of my social media now. I get so tired of people fighting — even if opinions are good — I gotta take my power back and just put images out there.
And regardless of what you believe — we have a black woman who is about to become the vice president!
How can you not celebrate that even if you don’t believe in her politics. My god!
IT’S TOO DAMN OBVIOUS TO ASK YOU IF YOU ARE A FEMINIST. YOUR BOOK “YOU DON’T LOOK FAT, YOU LOOK CRAZY: AN UNAPOLOGETIC GUIDE TO BEING AMBITCHOUS” IS BEYOND DELICIOUS. AND CONTINUES TO BE NECESSARY!
My feminism is — if you want something — work for it — if you need to say something — fuckin’ say it. My feminism is not waking up every day and thinking about what opportunities I don’t have and how I may not make as much money as a male artist or get undervalued when I do corporate collaborations and the things they expect me to do for free — I don’t dwell on that. I simply try to set a new precedent. Action is my cure for everything.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE BIGGEST RISK YOU HAVE TAKEN IN YOUR LIFE?
The biggest risk: I take a chance on myself every day.
I always have that inner monologue. I CAN DO THIS. And its gonna be ok. And. Even if everything goes to hell in a hand basket — I can get some crayons and a piece of cardboard — and I’ll be happy.
I CAN TELL YOU — YOU ARE SO FUCKING FIERCE. YOU WILL BE ONE OF GB’S YOUNGEST ONES BUT I AM MAKING AN EXCEPTION. I USUALLY GO 50 AND OVER.
Its an honor.
If you don’t follow her — you need to — she beats any shot of caffein — @ashleylongshoreart